Success is that ever looming destination that everybody longs to reach. Unfortunately, most of us don't know what success is, how to reach it, or how to recognize it. We each reach successes throughout life without really knowing that we have; and so we keep striving.
On the one hand, this is good. We should never become complacent with our situation. We should always strive for more, for better, because if we are not moving forward, we are going backward.
On the other hand, this is bad. If we fail to recognize our successes, we meander through life without knowing how good we are or how successful we have been. If you doubt this, ask any man from my generation whether they are successful. It's hard to feel that you are when you have a mortgage, car payments, school loans, and kids who are involved in any number of activities. We are so often focused on what we are failing at instead of what we are good at.
As part of my business, I have to learn what I am good at and what I need to improve on. While an educator, the focus was mostly on what I needed to improve on. I spend the majority of my time trying to strengthen aspects of my teaching that were lacking. While these exercises were worthwhile, because they made me a better teacher, I couldn't help but feel like I was lacking something, because my limiting self talk was parroted by my "superiors".
The world around us is focused on the failings of society. We scold politicians who are exposed in scandals, we condemn authorities who take advantage of their position, we degrade people who appear to be ignorant. Is it any wonder that we fail to see our own good, when we are trained to find the bad?
In order to reach success, then, we need to shift our focus. I do this through a self directed education, but there are plenty of options out there. What you choose is up to you. There is one thing that I believe can be a benefit to you and help you find the successes in your life: tracking. This will also help us notice the good in us and where our strengths lie.
Tracking is essentially journaling or keeping a diary. However, instead of writing about our feelings, the purpose of this journal is to keep track of our actions. As we keep account of what we do we will see where we are being successful and where we need to improve. Ultimately, this should shift our focus (if we keep it up) because as we keep track of everything that we do, we will start to hold the line on ourselves and hold ourselves accountable to do what we need to.
We can do this in any industry, in any arena, and in any position. What is necessary, is the desire to improve, a definition of success, and the willingness to be consistent. When we define what success is, it will be easier to reach it. I think the reason, most of us don't ever reach success is because we don't know what it is and we aren't really striving for it. But once we know where we are going, we are much more likely to get there.
Hold the line on yourself, define what success is for you, start to keep track of what you are doing and enjoy the journey. As we do that, we will realize the truth. As tennis great Arthur Ashe says, "Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome."
Friday, October 25, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Live For Today
When we look to the beginnings of the events or chapters in our lives, it is hard to imagine what it will have in store for us. There are, of course, events that denote a sharp change in our lives, like graduating from college, getting married, or having children. Other events are harder to identify as life changing (waking up in the morning, having a car accident, not kissing your wife as you leave for the office, etc.). Those events can turn out, in retrospect, to be defining moments in our lives, as we look back to discover that they were really as important as those "big" moments.
We can all recall a moment that seemed insignificant at the time, but ended up being a milestone in our lives. The last time that I hugged my grandmother, (months) before she passed is an important one for me. And it had me thinking about all of those times that a moment can change a life forever. Another significant event is when my grandmother and her brother had an argument at a wedding. This would be that last time I would see a majority of my family in over 20 years.
So, how do we navigate those events in our daily lives without looking back on them with regret. For me, it comes down to wondering if I had lived those moments to the fullest. Whether I had shown my abuelita enough love. Was the hug long or did I pull away to early? Did she know that I cared about her? Did I convey that love in those last moments that I saw her? Did I build enough relationships with my family members? Did I really know (or care) who my family was? The answer to those questions is probably, no! So, how do I use that knowledge in the future? How do I use it to take the right attitude into every situation.
At this point, most people would suggest a trite reminder to "live each day like it's your last" or "carpe diem" (seize the day)! I'm not one to suggest that because it doesn't really mean anything concrete. In fact, most of us would take away something completely different from "live each day as if it is your last." For most, this reminder might cause reckless behavior as people rush to do all that they have ever wanted to do, regardless of whether it was moral or not. For Christians, this would suggest living today in the service of Christ. Either way, it is not what I want to convey. Instead, I want to suggest that we take a new approach to living for today. This approach involves three simple steps.
1) Put this moment into perspective. This moment is all that you have. Whether you spend your time wallowing in yesteryear or reliving your past or whether you spend all of your time planning your future, this moment is ALL that you have. I'm not suggesting that we don't plan, set goals, or relive moments that make us feel good. Instead, I suggest that we become conscious of the fact that this moment is the only moment that we have. If we want to make a difference in our lives, or strive for excellence, or even just become a better father/mother/brother/sister/son/daughter, the best time to make that change is now. We can't wait until tomorrow for two reasons. 1) We can only accomplish things NOW. All action takes place right now. 2) Tomorrow is not guaranteed. In an instant, all that we have ever wanted to do can be taken from us for various reasons. Our intention to make dinner tonight can be thwarted by a fire, an earthquake, a car accident, another person, being locked out of your car, an injury, traffic, etc. Take advantage of the time you are given, RIGHT NOW! If we really are conscious of this moment, we are also less likely to take advantage of the people we are currently with.
2) Enjoy your moments by having the right attitude. Remember all of the good things that you have going for you. Even the worst off person has some blessing that they can count. In tough financial times, remember the blessings of family. In tough familial times, remember your friends. When your muscles are sore, remember that you have those muscles to move your body around. Reframe your current situation to come out positively. It's easy to let tough times make us feel bad about our situation or to make us feel inadequate. But just remember that others have overcome worse. And if one person can overcome those obstacles, then you can as well. Additionally, if we focus so much on the external things that we cannot fix or take action on right now, we are more likely to miss what is right in front of us. When we are dying, our problems, most likely, aren't the first thing on our minds. We are focused on being around those that we love, because inevitably, they are what is really important to us. So why are we letting those people escape our attention at the moment?
3) Look at problems as a challenge. Attack those circumstances with your best and overcome them. This won't be easy, but it will be worth it. If you confront a problem you have a better shot of overcoming it than if you simply ignore it. Author James Arthur Baldwin is noted as saying, "Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced." This action step puts us in the moment. When we face problems, we are providing examples, we are living in the present, and we are becoming champions. Ultimately, the step is the most important for living for today. Because, when we take action against whatever problems cross our path, we are more likely to have fewer problems in the future and more likely to be able to spend our future moments focused on what is really important.
I try to live by these principles on a daily basis in order to never live with regret. In the end, I want to be known as an action oriented man of character and conviction. But it all starts by making sure that I take advantage of each moment given me.
Read the list below and see if you are taking advantage of your time on this earth or if you need to adjust your schedule to make a better use of your time on earth. Compare what you spend your time on compared to your vision of yourself/your purpose. For somebody who wants to be a playwright, spending time at a local theater would be a good idea. For somebody who wants to be a better Catholic, playing video games might not help them reach their goal.
So common uses of time:
-watching television
-listening to music
-playing sports
-playing video games
-listening to positive/motivational/informational CDs
-reading the newspaper
-reading tabloids
-reading self improvement books
-praying
-sitting in traffic
-napping
-cooking/baking
-working overtime
-playing Fantasy Football/Baseball
-hanging out with friends/family members
-social media
-drinking
-dating
-attending seminars
-attending self improvement classes
Are you spending time in activities that get you where you want to go? Where are you headed in life? Are you planning your life or living by "default"?
Take time to evaluate your position in life. Take time to plan our your life. Take advantage of this moment and head into the future. Lastly, make sure that your activities take you where you want to go.
We can all recall a moment that seemed insignificant at the time, but ended up being a milestone in our lives. The last time that I hugged my grandmother, (months) before she passed is an important one for me. And it had me thinking about all of those times that a moment can change a life forever. Another significant event is when my grandmother and her brother had an argument at a wedding. This would be that last time I would see a majority of my family in over 20 years.
So, how do we navigate those events in our daily lives without looking back on them with regret. For me, it comes down to wondering if I had lived those moments to the fullest. Whether I had shown my abuelita enough love. Was the hug long or did I pull away to early? Did she know that I cared about her? Did I convey that love in those last moments that I saw her? Did I build enough relationships with my family members? Did I really know (or care) who my family was? The answer to those questions is probably, no! So, how do I use that knowledge in the future? How do I use it to take the right attitude into every situation.
At this point, most people would suggest a trite reminder to "live each day like it's your last" or "carpe diem" (seize the day)! I'm not one to suggest that because it doesn't really mean anything concrete. In fact, most of us would take away something completely different from "live each day as if it is your last." For most, this reminder might cause reckless behavior as people rush to do all that they have ever wanted to do, regardless of whether it was moral or not. For Christians, this would suggest living today in the service of Christ. Either way, it is not what I want to convey. Instead, I want to suggest that we take a new approach to living for today. This approach involves three simple steps.
1) Put this moment into perspective. This moment is all that you have. Whether you spend your time wallowing in yesteryear or reliving your past or whether you spend all of your time planning your future, this moment is ALL that you have. I'm not suggesting that we don't plan, set goals, or relive moments that make us feel good. Instead, I suggest that we become conscious of the fact that this moment is the only moment that we have. If we want to make a difference in our lives, or strive for excellence, or even just become a better father/mother/brother/sister/son/daughter, the best time to make that change is now. We can't wait until tomorrow for two reasons. 1) We can only accomplish things NOW. All action takes place right now. 2) Tomorrow is not guaranteed. In an instant, all that we have ever wanted to do can be taken from us for various reasons. Our intention to make dinner tonight can be thwarted by a fire, an earthquake, a car accident, another person, being locked out of your car, an injury, traffic, etc. Take advantage of the time you are given, RIGHT NOW! If we really are conscious of this moment, we are also less likely to take advantage of the people we are currently with.
2) Enjoy your moments by having the right attitude. Remember all of the good things that you have going for you. Even the worst off person has some blessing that they can count. In tough financial times, remember the blessings of family. In tough familial times, remember your friends. When your muscles are sore, remember that you have those muscles to move your body around. Reframe your current situation to come out positively. It's easy to let tough times make us feel bad about our situation or to make us feel inadequate. But just remember that others have overcome worse. And if one person can overcome those obstacles, then you can as well. Additionally, if we focus so much on the external things that we cannot fix or take action on right now, we are more likely to miss what is right in front of us. When we are dying, our problems, most likely, aren't the first thing on our minds. We are focused on being around those that we love, because inevitably, they are what is really important to us. So why are we letting those people escape our attention at the moment?
3) Look at problems as a challenge. Attack those circumstances with your best and overcome them. This won't be easy, but it will be worth it. If you confront a problem you have a better shot of overcoming it than if you simply ignore it. Author James Arthur Baldwin is noted as saying, "Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced." This action step puts us in the moment. When we face problems, we are providing examples, we are living in the present, and we are becoming champions. Ultimately, the step is the most important for living for today. Because, when we take action against whatever problems cross our path, we are more likely to have fewer problems in the future and more likely to be able to spend our future moments focused on what is really important.
I try to live by these principles on a daily basis in order to never live with regret. In the end, I want to be known as an action oriented man of character and conviction. But it all starts by making sure that I take advantage of each moment given me.
Read the list below and see if you are taking advantage of your time on this earth or if you need to adjust your schedule to make a better use of your time on earth. Compare what you spend your time on compared to your vision of yourself/your purpose. For somebody who wants to be a playwright, spending time at a local theater would be a good idea. For somebody who wants to be a better Catholic, playing video games might not help them reach their goal.
So common uses of time:
-watching television
-listening to music
-playing sports
-playing video games
-listening to positive/motivational/informational CDs
-reading the newspaper
-reading tabloids
-reading self improvement books
-praying
-sitting in traffic
-napping
-cooking/baking
-working overtime
-playing Fantasy Football/Baseball
-hanging out with friends/family members
-social media
-drinking
-dating
-attending seminars
-attending self improvement classes
Are you spending time in activities that get you where you want to go? Where are you headed in life? Are you planning your life or living by "default"?
Take time to evaluate your position in life. Take time to plan our your life. Take advantage of this moment and head into the future. Lastly, make sure that your activities take you where you want to go.
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